The emotion expert dissects the extramarital affair in the marriage Once overstepped the limit to leave

The emotion expert dissects the extramarital affair in the marriage Once overstepped the limit to leave
The emotion expert dissects the extramarital affair in the marriage Once overstepped the limit to leave
The moon is the editor of a publishing house, the marriage question of seeking advice to me not long ago in autumn. The husband in the moon is the young officers with power in autumn, two people are married for 8 years, the daughter is 4 years old. 1 year ago, found the husband in close relation with a collegegirl in the moon in autumn. Through inquiring, the husband says frankly that falls into the extramarital affair by oneself, and unable to free oneself. Fall in a swoon right away in the moon in autumn, want to divorce husband subsequently. But parents stop constantly, let her bear for the daughter. The husband, unwilling to divorce, also say that can't resolve the extramarital affair rapidly, because the other side miscarries for him. Look at the young daughter, put down the thought of divorcing temporarily in the moon in autumn, should have a talk with the other person. The husband opposes absolutely, let the moon give him time in autumn, he solves the problem. Day just goes down in the calmness of the surface, the husband still acts the part of good husband, good father at home, but disappeared one day ago every weekend, left away hurriedly after answering the call at midnight sometimes. Whenever fall into the violent psychological conflict in the moon in autumn at this moment: Divorce resolutely, or resolve the extramarital affair when the husband? The questions of the moon let me think of having a section of third party's dialogue with wife on the net in autumn. The other person: He and I have already one year in love, hope you can withdraw voluntarily. The wife smiles: He has not always proposed divorcing with me, estimate that has never promised to marry you too? The other person: He says that there is not love for a long time between you, the reason why to divorce kindred is because. Wife: Do you know what is the kindred? Just like left hand and right hand, do not perhaps have something that feel to hold together on ordinary days, how precious to think either; If really want to chop a hand, the person becomes disabled. And he, does not want to become disabled. Some the other person baffle, but better to rest: He says that has not already had you " The sex " Interesting, it is just passionate to stay with me. Wife: Since you and he are on intimate terms, will certainly know some habits and customs of his, for example he likes eating the rice most all the year round, can like to eat a dumpling and have a taste of a delicacy once in a while. But can the dumpling replace rice more deliciously? Tell you, the family, just like his rice, where do you see most time in one year and 365 days of his? Having legal festivals or holidays of all, he is accompanying child and me at home. How do you feel those days? It is said after this talk, the other person has chosen to leave quickly, the wife has never mentioned this talk in front of the husband too, the family returns to the original orbit naturally. This wife has chosen to defend the attitude of the family to the last in front of the other person. Then, find the husband has extramarital affairs, should wives all be like this? Someone says, overstep the limit once, overstep the limit all the life, before freeing early for a long time; Unless say someone, can't cheap the other person,firmly from,tow by they very much. It is in fact wrong. Instantly, the existence of the other person seems all over the place relatively " general " and prolongs Social phenomenon. Say the fair to wife phenomenon, but the intersection of marriage and reality very much, can not disintegrate after deciding to disintegrate. In the face of the husband's extramarital affair, divorce and treat with a certain discrimination. To sum up, can be divided into two major kinds: The first kind of easier resolution, there are two kinds of situations in all - -The first kind of situation, the emotion among couple is not good, the family does not have foundation continuing to keep. The wife was originally discontended with husband, can't just make the resolution of divorcing all the time. The husband had extramarital affairs at this moment, and the wife can not digest, should make a decision. Totally unnecessary like some women, meant to divorce, because of the other person's stimulus, keep the family later instead. The second kind of situation, after the extramarital affair is exposed, husband's purpose that not only the fine long hair is not repentant, fly into a rage from shame instead, show a pair of posture that will leave firmly. In this case, the marriage has not certainly had a good prospect yet. As wife, must not heart deposit illusion, think, submit to humiliation, can bear, there emerged a kind result year in and year out; Should defend one's own dignity firmly, finish the marriage that has already died without the least hesitation. Otherwise, delay one day, will delay oneself for one day. The second kind is more difficult with the choice. Generally still there are certain emotional foundations in this kind of family, couple are on good terms, children are still fine too, but the wife can not digest the husband's extramarital affair. This involves 3 kinds of situations again: The first kind of situation, the husband has repented, returned to the family from then on. The wife must guard against hotly pursuing and fiercely attacking at this moment, do not forgive without listening. It is all right that a piece of blank sheet of paper may not be certain, the family that has never gone through the hiccup is fragile instead. Through such trials and hardship, the family will often be more steady. Guilty that the husband knows to have by mistake, will cherish this family even more. So-called " raw love in apologizing " . The more tolerant the wife is at this moment, the more the husband will remember with gratitude. Second, the husband has admitted the extramarital affair, has repented too in word, but still keep in touch with the other person secretly, certainly take action and disappear than the past. This kind of situation is a large amount of, it is more difficult to deal with. It crazy about mans of extramarital affair to be very much difficult to at all break off and lure generally, but does not want to replace the family with extramarital affair. See completely at this moment how the wife appraises one's own marriage, how to think about the husband " the gluttonous cat smells of fish secretly " Behavior. If the wife thinks the husband generally fairly takes charge of the family, believing that will return to the family finally after years that he oversteps the limit occasionally through a Section, and wife can contain and digest the thing, then, the marriage can break-in goes down noisily. If the husband spends the gains terribly, the wife is absolutely unable to take the insult, will weigh the clear advantages and disadvantages among them in the hand early, it can't be yearned for either that husband's other respects are more well, it's time to leave it as early as possible soon. Otherwise not grow up lifetime crime,every one unavoidable finally "from " Word. Third, after the husband's extramarital affair is discovered, say on one hand that will maintain the family, on the other hand it is unwilling to give up the extramarital affair to put aside all considerations of face and tell publicly, the extramarital affair is transferred from the underground to and discloses instead. Some women, under the pressure of management and accumulation, and the consideration of every aspect such as child, parents for many years of the family, for should divorce and hesitate very much ing. Then, should make a decision early in the face of this kind of situation. The husband, in order to keep the extramarital affair as the condition for maintaining the family, it is not merely the insult and unjust of the wife, also indicate there is no good result in the future in this family. (Famous writer, famous marriage emotion expert of author's department. The latest works have " love truth " " marriage truth " and " the marriage sneak the rule ",etc.. )(Ke Yunlu)


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